2016 goals: Friends

After numerous toss and turn Sunday night (hence the expensive mistake on Monday), I briefly thought of some 2016 goals while still in consciousness.

I met a friend on Sunday, it has been 6 months since we saw each other. After catching up over a meal, we parted ways and she texted me "it felt really good to meet you. I enjoyed your sharing" with a smiley. Knowing her, I know she meant real. I had the same feeling too - it felt good to catch up and see her, particularly I was able to share what I know in the industry/hobbies that she's interested in (as a second career). I think I support whatever decision she is ultimately going to make (or not make).

And I admire her for her courage to find out what she likes, how she's going to endeavor to make something happen. I had those moments before (briefly), but have not gone around to the stage of trying it out. The look of wistfulness, the thought of other possibilities lying ahead, etc, all these seem to disappear the more I grow. Feelings that were once a part of your "daydreaming" now became 'unfamiliar', feelings that I would associate with a prerogative being young and carefree - have become wishful thinking.

There was something we had in common: we've both been "shielding" ourselves away from socializing/seeing anyone because of the fatigue we experienced in our day jobs. We both admitted that the Sunday night catch up was a pleasant surprise, and we had plans to meet again sometime soon (in a 3-6 months time frame). This gave me a pat on my back, in the sense "Yay! I'm still capable of making a good conversation", "Yay there's people who don't find  me boring". I'm learning to become a good listener, patiently wait for people to finish, and slow to make assumptions. (Did I say I'm type A?)

Most people tend to think others' jobs are better than theirs - certainly my job in their case, which is why I prefer not to talk about too much what I do, because it will sound bragging, or simply ungrateful. As in: "hey why are you whining when you are paid more than I was?". 

However with this friend on Sunday night, she totally understood. We both shared the same view: while we are paid reasonably (not a lot though), the stress level and the salary does correlate.  Even if the remuneration is good, it doesn't take away from the fact that a salary is supposedly not a 'shut-thou-up' money, we work hard to earn it, it's not like we sit and do nothing each day!

There is an ex-colleague who thinks: want to talk about working extra hours? Let's see who wins (longest hours). And I will say, sorry (not sorry!), but that's just WRONG. Extra hours is extra hours, it doesn't matter whether it's 30 mins or 3 hours. It certainly doesn't give him the right to dismiss the extra hours (that I worked) is not considered "extra" by any means (compared with his hours), and I'm not even interested in being the person who wins in having the longest hours. Sorry not in PJ's world :-)

Have you ever thought about one's friends change over with time? Once I heard someone said your friends/circle change every 7 years. I still haven't decided if it's an accurate description! But it makes you wonder once in a while...

Sometimes it's simple things like that makes you grateful in finding people who get what you mean. Without thinking in another way, might I add.

With that catch up being successful, I briefly had an idea of who I'll be meeting in 2016, and I'll be making a list. Will be taking the first step to initiate. Quantity is never the focus here, the goal is to make each meetup meaningful, by being "there" as a good listener.

(I am late this year in drawing up goals for 2016 - there might be separate posts to come, please bear with me - it's one of those things that you will 'get to you' when it does!)

Monthly Wrap-Up: March 2015

If I remember correctly, I spent almost 2 weeks with a flu bug and could not recall anything much, except that I spent less on eating out (since I wasn't going out, sick at home), and I did not buy any grocery food for the home (no stocking up). Here's the figures:

Overspent HK$419.45

Savings rate 45.41% (before tax)

Not too shabby methinks. My savings % had a dip last month, most likely due to me booking my vacation. But how did I manage to still overspend when I'm mostly home-bound for 2 weeks (except for work)? Well, I did a bit of shopping for the upcoming trip, mostly on a bug spray, sunscreen, mosquito repellent sticker patches, stuff like that do add up...

On top of that, I also got some footsies / shoe liners that will go with my sneakers. Also took the chance of a special promo and got a few bottles of fruity bath gel, they were $59 each normally, $99 for 3 when on special offer, but the cheapest (when I got them) was $25 each. Why the shop does this, I have no idea. Perhaps they'd like to increase shop traffic and get people to buy other things as well besides the promo? I also got 5 books on clearance, all related to health. I know I've got enough books and shouldn't be buying them, but I figured I'll lend them to DB or my family after finishing them, and not sure if they like library books! I think I've also mentioned in a few posts back, that I bought perfumes.

And let's not forget the cute Moomin tote I got, not a need but entirely a want, but I'll use it happily. Here's Moomin family again, if you're not familiar: (or you are like me, like looking at them)

Pic found on google images

Pic found on google images

As far as money things go, I've shared in the Moneytalk post (HERE) I've met the target saving amount, albeit very humbly. But still, the sense of accomplishment! :-D I've also gone ahead for the credit card upgrade, I should have done it sooner after figuring out there's nothing to lose! The minimum % you need to put down for a home's down payment, however, has risen. This is bad news for those who are struggling to save, now you have to save even more!

As far as dieting, healthy eating and exercising goals are concerned, I did very poorly in March. Been to the park for only once. Sick for 1 week, took another 2 weeks to recover. I've slowly started making changes to my breakfast routine, since I need to slim down that protruding belly, and while not in time to get fit before my vacation, still it's nice to have a start. More oatmeal will be on the way!

Personal development goals: remember I shared that I've signed up to become a volunteer then heard nothing? Well, I finally heard from them. Last week I went to a briefing and met other newbies, up to this date there's some volunteer opportunities but I've looked and found nothing close to my home and the time doesn't fit (afterwork?!), so we'll wait and see what comes next.

So what's in store for April? Lots of eating out, a rise in commute cost, and less NSDs since I'll be traveling a bit.

I'll treat a very good friend of mine for a birthday dinner. She's happily retired at the age of 56 and I'm just very grateful to know her before she retired. Even with our age gap (she has a daughter whose age is practically same as me), we got along very, very well and still are. Happy times! Then there's this senior colleague who lives so close to me, and we will be dining out near our place. It's hard to decline when she's more senior than me, but I've talked her into a place which has special offers, the frugal kind. In fact I gathered that she's a very frugal person. Since it's Easter holidays, I'll be meeting up with friends for tea, for some catching up. I did decline a weekend getaway trip with them, because I did not thoroughly enjoyed it last time, plus I could see my money is better spent elsewhere. Tonight I'll be shopping with a friend for a few personal care items, using her discount, and making use of coupons.

Grandma's birthday is also coming up, so there goes my "granny money" after March's grandma (another one) birthday.

A rise in commute costs from April onward is also on the chart, and for once I think it'll be a worthy sacrifice: money does buy you time, in this case. However the leap in cost will be quite a sharp one compared what I used to have. Plus, summer is near, which means I might be walking less and taking more trains! I'll observe how my commute costs rise for the coming month, then I'll make adjustments in my budget...

April's a bit quiet on the side-hustle front, so it might actually be time to get on with a blog sale (not on this blog), or maybe catching up with reading books and magazines. I hope April will be a better month!

Sometimes it's not what we think it is

A few months ago I shared that a friend of the same age (a girl), who had bought a flat with her bf and moved in together. Well, she told me she's broken up with her bf and moved back to her parent's. This was such shocking news to me, I always thought she's the one who "has it": not rich, but enough money to pay for down payment and get a mortgage (halved with her bf), a stable relationship hence the moving in part, a nice job, and a bit of cushion there from her investments.

To me, that kind of number is just astronomical (I know it was not much, but it's getting even more difficult these days). I was pretty upset at myself at that time because I kept thinking what I should have done to my money before getting a grip on it now, and how different would bank account figure be now. I still do, a bit upset at myself for what I've done with my money before. But this post just goes to show you how fickle things are...one moment a person looked like they have a stable life but the next moment they're back to square one, well, almost. At the beginning of March I had that crest-fallen feeling for 2 days and it was just enough to wreck everything - peace of mind, appetite, and health, sleep, etc.

Have you come across similar stories? Did knowing such people (and that you can be in a similar place with them, but you're not near that for now) upset you?

*To this date, I think I should thank her for inspiring me to get a grip on my finances, and started this blog. She doesn't know her story gave me such a motivation. And without this blog, I would feel alone in this journey. Thanks every one of you for reading this blog. THANK YOU.*

Getting ready for 2015!

It's been 2 weeks since I last reviewed the mini weekly goals *gasp*, and we're coming to a close of 2014, in fact, SO CLOSE. My dad suggested we go for a buffet to celebrate my birthday early, but I declined. You all know I am not a fan of buffet and my body doesn't need extra fat. There. I just want to stay home these days and avoid the crowds.

Beginning with the review first:

- Tidy up room (clothes and shoes) Sort of a YES

- Pick up remaining ticket from cinema Will do that this week

- Continue to search for new glasses To be continued

- Post remaining 2015 goals on the blog YES

- Outfit plan on Sunday for the week ahead Sort of a YES

- Track cashback transactions x 2 YES

- Track refunds x 2 To be continued

- Apply body cream and hand cream every night YES (and I'm writing this off for the lists to come as this is pretty much established)

And the icing on the cake: 

- Jogged 2x this week! More shall come;

- Read a few dozen pages on the book I put down and pick up a few times previously! No it wasn't a fun book to read but nevertheless I bought it at the time (now I know there's libraries I can always turn to), and so I must go through it and learn a thing or two;

- Mom mended the coat buttons for moi last night, I am so grateful for that!

- 11 No-spend days this month! Record broke :-)

Fast forward to the coming week:

- Read 50 pages of the said book

- Jog 2x

- See whether DB needs help with his house move

- Hand tiny gifts to DB's mom

- Pick up free ticket from cinema

- Track refunds x 2

- Make outfit plan on Sunday

- Ship 2 parcels to friends abroad

- Make a list of items for blog sale

- Continue the glasses search

If the progress with reading is good, I will begin borrowing books from the library. At this stage I'm not so sure of the reading rate hence I'm not confident to start borrowing as the books might get returned without a page being turned.

I can foresee a bit of cleaning is going to come as Chinese New Year advances in February. Will be meeting up with a friend from down under during that period and another friend from UK in mid January.

*the tags for the 2015 goals' posts have been changed to "2015 goals" instead of "goals" for easier review*

Christmas Day

First and foremost, Merry Christmas to anyone who is reading this :-)

It rained pretty much the whole day and it was cold. Today afternoon was spent (unplanned) on putting away clothes that had been piling up in the room, and (also unplanned) decluttering! A few tubes and jars were on the brink of expiration and they re-surfaced during the decluttering, they've been put to use already. 

Conclusion: I have way too many clothes, shoes and bags. Oh the horror! I can't fathom doing this decluttering every few times in the year and every year. Time-consuming.

In other news, I spotted some lovely Christmas charms with little gifts inside on sale, they were at 50% off original, plus the 25% off that I have, I got a handful of them and that's next year's Xmas gifts sorted out ;-)

A friend of mine will be visiting in February and suggested maybe doing a whole day out browsing (she won't be buying a lot on this trip she said), ideally half a day would be enough as I'm not sure if I can handle a whole day out, I'm getting old.

Hope everyone's enjoying the holidays!

2015 Family/Friends goals; Career goals

Family & Friends goals:

1. Take parents to travel and experience more
2. Continue being good to those family members who are good (aka get over the black sheeps)
3. Reconnect with friends by texting more and meet up occasionally

Goal (1) will be accomplished, depending on the time that my dad can walk away from the office, be it long or short, we are definitely going on a trip. If we're going on a long trip then I'll have to do more planning work; if it's short trip then I'll just sign everyone up on a decent tour so I don't need to worry about anything, and my parents would feel more comfy sitting on a coach as well.

Basically I've come to terms with goal (2) that there's always some black blood in the family and that nothing can be done to mend these fragile and broken relationships, plus it isn't like I'm the only grown-up to think about this, every other person has their responsibility in this too. 

Goal (3): o be honest I quite enjoy having weekend off and I try not to schedule many meetups with friends over the past year, instead I chose to spend more time with my parents. However there will always a few friends that I'd meet from time to time, I just need to remember to text them more.

Career goals:

1. Limit occasions of official lunches/farewells unless attendance is an absolute must, and when needed be, socialize and be present
2. Remain cordial, maintain a cordial, purposed and respectful distance with others. Avoid being too friendly with anyone, and stay away from gossip-mongers at work
3. Have outfit planned out for the week every Sunday
4. Consider taking a masters degree

Not much to say about these, just to keep working quietly and get through each day with some sanity (hence I bring my brown bag and eat alone).

2015 Personal development goals

Echoing a bit of health goals HERE and the library card post HERE, the personal development goals below also have something related to books and reading. I've put aside books, classes and learning for ages but I really enjoyed my undergraduate life. Too bad we all have to work to make a living.

Personal development:

1. Finish the magazine backlog
2. Read 3-5 books during the year, non-fiction and health books mostly
3. Make to-do lists every week, month and year to keep on track and do better planning mentally, financially and physically
4. Be surrounded by people who "do good"
5. Empower self

Goal (1): there are about 6 issues at hand. If you're interested, the magazine starts with an "M" and has about 150+ pages each...I love the quality of writing there and the variety of topics (travel! society! geopolitics!) but found that my reading rate was far lagging behind that I cannot catch up with the past issues, plus the subscription fee was too high (although quality matches with the price I'd say), this year I didn't renew the subscription and I have no plans to do that in near future. There's another quarterly mag (here if you're interested) that I'd like to subscribe but I didn't, owing to space (storage) issues and being the slow reader that PJ is (know thyself lol). It costs much cheaper and the quality of writing is still there, and its content is what I'd appreciate: getting connected with life, objects around you and nature, people, etc. It explores a different theme in each issue: on aging, hosting dinners, travel, farming, food.

Goal (2): I know the target 3-5 books is rather pathetic in numbers, but I"m aiming to start small here. I know very well what would happen if I target 10 books or 12 books a year, the reality is I wouldn't be able to accomplish that I(unless all are fiction books) and it'll make me feel bad. In high school I was told by my English literature teacher that I read too much fiction books (she guessed it by my writing style, lol) and she wanted me to spice things up a little by changing the genre I read. Non-fiction was hard and I didn't like it at first, but a year later I began to understand why she recommended that and I thanked her in my heart when I'm rushing for deadlines in my Uni essays.

Goal (3): Risking to sound I'm too micro-managing in every aspect, it's just to make things easier. I have drawn up a list of yearly events: Mid-autumn dinners, red packets for Chinese New Year, dental checkups and washes, insurance renewal, i.e. things that require tremendous effort like bleaching and wiping, or events that incur expenditures. Having this list at hand would help me have a better idea of the monthly budget, how much free time that month I would be, and how much breathing room I'd have (financially and time). Another good things about the list is, it basically works year after year with some minor tweaking.

Goal (4): Let's just say I'm surrounded by negativity and ungratefulness / asinine people particularly at work on a daily basis, 2015 I want to be surrounded by people who 'do good' and make good things happen to others.

Goal (5): It felt as if I've been in the backseat watching my life for so long (years), in 2015 I'd like to take the steering wheel again, metaphorically speaking. I wanted to pick up that 'can do, will do' vibe and that can be done if I can draw up weekly or monthly goals and taking baby steps to empower the self again and tell myself it's possible if I put my mind to it. Goal (5) is closely related to goal (3).

Family/Friends goals and career goals up next!

Christmas came (a wee bit) early!

I had parcels coming from Singapore and Sweden yesterday and on Friday, they were of course, from my dear friends! *claps and does happy dance*

They would always send beauty supplies to me, and particularly in December for my birthday. We would send stuff to each other a handful of times during the year, sometimes they come to visit me  in HK as well. Their kindness and generosity is way beyond anyone I know from daily life. The people I know/see/meet/work with day to day is none of the above, but the best people I know are not the ones I see day to day, isn't that ironic? It's one of my personal development goals (to be posted shortly) is to be surrounded by people who "do good", aka kind and helpful to others.

Back to the parcels, they sent me body lotion, cosmetics (lips and eyes stuff, tons of it), a hair mist, and a few items that I had on my secret wishlist, in fact I almost ordered them months ago but didn't. Here it is on my desk! I wonder how would they know?!

Anyways, it's always nice to have friends remembering you, I love putting stuffs together in a parcel send some RAOK (random act of kindness) back, it's fun! And, I thank god for these friends that I have.

Out and about, frugally!

Met up with a friend for brunch, we haven't seen in almost 1.5 years I think! It was nice catching up, I also redeemed my free movie ticket since I arrived early (but I forgot to pick up another birthday gift from a dept store...). Anyhow the meetup was positive and I felt good about connecting with friends (haven't felt this for a while). The best part was the whole bill got 30% off, lol because the protests had been driving the businesses awry so they gotta do something to keep customers coming in - good news for us! 

Last week I mentioned my friend and I would go clothes shopping...well I said I would abstain from this. I didn't leave with my hands empty BUT, I did much better than previous visits. In the past I would have left with 8-10 items back home but today I got only 2 :-) the best part was, they only costed me US$15 for 2. I don't know if it was the horror of purging my closet, the piles of clothes in my room, or that I have become too old to battle with other shoppers in the tiny but dense mall. My friend and I both felt the same - in the past we would still be energetic at the end of the visit (4 hours later) and today my shoulders felt like they're going to break down after an hour. Plus, the clothes in the mall no longer intrigued me, I either find them too "fast fashion" (short lifespan in the closet), taking up space in the closet, or just not top quality. Anyhow this is good news for me. I kept delaying this visit with friend (she suggested back in October), and I can see that we won't be needing such a visit until half a year or more later. 

The 2 items I got are: a functional skirt + legging one-piece, and a long-line black cardigan with neon pink trims, both US$7.5 each. I turned away from shoes, bags, tops, anything really. The skirt + legging piece would fit with any top, cardigan, or hoodie on top so this will be a staple bottom piece. Am OK with that. I could have skipped the long-line cardigan to be honest though!

Also picked up some soft gummies, oh god I felt like a kid at the candy / snacks store. I happily went home with a 500g of pick 'n' mix gummies. *eats one* Oh penguins, hearts, mangoes, grapes, all shapes and sizes. *eats another* Guess how much 500g costs? US$1.5, now I just need to keep my grubby hands away from the bag. I picked up some dish detergents on the way home, that's US$1.8 for 2 bottles, a house brand of the grocery store (no frills).

I had chunky mushroom soup for dinner -  first time having soup for an entire meal! I used canned cream of mushroom soup (expired for 2 weeks but smells just fine! lol), bought a few mushrooms for US$1.2, added some faux crab sticks and it tasted amazing. I love mushrooms of any kind, and I love me a warm hearty soup. Oh I had a banana before the soup to fill up the stomach, or else my stomach would be screaming an hour later.

All in all, today was a good day :-)