2016 goals: Friends

After numerous toss and turn Sunday night (hence the expensive mistake on Monday), I briefly thought of some 2016 goals while still in consciousness.

I met a friend on Sunday, it has been 6 months since we saw each other. After catching up over a meal, we parted ways and she texted me "it felt really good to meet you. I enjoyed your sharing" with a smiley. Knowing her, I know she meant real. I had the same feeling too - it felt good to catch up and see her, particularly I was able to share what I know in the industry/hobbies that she's interested in (as a second career). I think I support whatever decision she is ultimately going to make (or not make).

And I admire her for her courage to find out what she likes, how she's going to endeavor to make something happen. I had those moments before (briefly), but have not gone around to the stage of trying it out. The look of wistfulness, the thought of other possibilities lying ahead, etc, all these seem to disappear the more I grow. Feelings that were once a part of your "daydreaming" now became 'unfamiliar', feelings that I would associate with a prerogative being young and carefree - have become wishful thinking.

There was something we had in common: we've both been "shielding" ourselves away from socializing/seeing anyone because of the fatigue we experienced in our day jobs. We both admitted that the Sunday night catch up was a pleasant surprise, and we had plans to meet again sometime soon (in a 3-6 months time frame). This gave me a pat on my back, in the sense "Yay! I'm still capable of making a good conversation", "Yay there's people who don't find  me boring". I'm learning to become a good listener, patiently wait for people to finish, and slow to make assumptions. (Did I say I'm type A?)

Most people tend to think others' jobs are better than theirs - certainly my job in their case, which is why I prefer not to talk about too much what I do, because it will sound bragging, or simply ungrateful. As in: "hey why are you whining when you are paid more than I was?". 

However with this friend on Sunday night, she totally understood. We both shared the same view: while we are paid reasonably (not a lot though), the stress level and the salary does correlate.  Even if the remuneration is good, it doesn't take away from the fact that a salary is supposedly not a 'shut-thou-up' money, we work hard to earn it, it's not like we sit and do nothing each day!

There is an ex-colleague who thinks: want to talk about working extra hours? Let's see who wins (longest hours). And I will say, sorry (not sorry!), but that's just WRONG. Extra hours is extra hours, it doesn't matter whether it's 30 mins or 3 hours. It certainly doesn't give him the right to dismiss the extra hours (that I worked) is not considered "extra" by any means (compared with his hours), and I'm not even interested in being the person who wins in having the longest hours. Sorry not in PJ's world :-)

Have you ever thought about one's friends change over with time? Once I heard someone said your friends/circle change every 7 years. I still haven't decided if it's an accurate description! But it makes you wonder once in a while...

Sometimes it's simple things like that makes you grateful in finding people who get what you mean. Without thinking in another way, might I add.

With that catch up being successful, I briefly had an idea of who I'll be meeting in 2016, and I'll be making a list. Will be taking the first step to initiate. Quantity is never the focus here, the goal is to make each meetup meaningful, by being "there" as a good listener.

(I am late this year in drawing up goals for 2016 - there might be separate posts to come, please bear with me - it's one of those things that you will 'get to you' when it does!)

An expensive mistake

I just made one, that is.

Needless to say (but I'm not giving myself ready excuses), I was tired, I bought something expensive and I regret it almost immediately when leaving the store. Now, before you ask further "just make a refund", I regret to tell you that the returns/refund policy where I live is next to none. 

Vaguely remembering there is a "protection" policy (aka insurance), an urgent call to the credit card company was made. Apparently I could return all the things to the insurance company (the broker of the credit card company) and get a refund, but I had to pay roughly 12% of the product's value (it's an exact figure, not a percentage given). I wasn't impressed.

More importantly, I'm angry and beyond annoyed at myself.

It was clearly not a need, I am not going to die if I don't have it in my life. Far from that. It's not the sense of entitlement ("treat thyself") either. I don't know what got over me and I did it. The money (any money in fact) can be put to use in a much much better and purposeful way. 

Now we're looking at 2 options - (1) I can take the products (not send...) to the insurance company and fill in forms to do a refund and suffer the 12% loss; or (2) I can go back to the store to exchange for something else of equal value or higher value, which the difference shall be paid in extra. Selling it away is not an option either.

Totally realizing I'm bringing on more trouble for myself, I don't know which is the better option. It is a very expensive mistake either way no matter how you look at it. It SUCKS to feel like this.

This lesson just serves to remind me (1) not to set foot in that store again (except should I decide to exchange products, which is likely, since I'm not going to use that darn thing if I keep it, it's too painful of a lesson); (2) be very, very judicious in making decisions; (3) leave the cards at home (I brought it with me since I had to pay for a prescription today); (4) I'm going to live just fine without it; (5) I've lost more than just the monetary value here, time and mental resources to ponder and wonder about the decisions made. Frankly speaking it's been a torture ever since that stupid decision has been made. 

Can't let this happen again!

So frugal (OMG) and note to self

I came across something mortifying today on the train.

The train stopped and a few hikers (you can tell by their gear and apparel, and I wasn't wrong!) of roughly 50 or 60 years of age boarded. The train was about 80% crowded so they stood dispersed, 2 women in front of me, a man next to me, and another man behind me. They were literally shouting (talking louder than normal) and it hurts my ears and peace. Of course the 2 women were talking at my direction since the 2 men were next to/behind me, the man behind me talked very loudly next to my ear, of course. They were talking about Chinese tea house fees, some cheap strawberries they got from so and so for how much. I winced. 

Then they went on about cutting away coupons for some chain restaurant. I don't want to repeat what they said (the nitty gritty - something about those coupons and card offers that can't be combined which adds up to maybe US$0.5), it gave me the red flag (!). While I consider being frugal is generally a good thing, the mortifying part (for moi) is that these folks have it written all over their face. It's absolutely revolting. 

Of course frugality, when done right, is nothing to be ashamed of; but there's something about their frugality being so vocalized in a public area(!) that it borders on being miserly/cheap/take it for granted/(insert your word here). 

I took time to observe their appearance, they looked like...well let's just say I definitely DO NOT want to look like them when I'm old (something about the hair and skin, and their central topic of $$$ spending and saving just turned me off). This is a huge red flag. Now, from their speaking (of their hiking hobby), I don't think they're poor folks, but rather, they're super duper frugal folks. There's nothing wrong with talking about money as a topic, but the way they talked about it made me drop my respect. Needless to say, I felt turned off and couldn't wait to get off the train. 

Has any of you come across scenarios like that? How did you feel?

On one hand, I'm very thankful that frugality is a choice that I can make, not something that's forced upon me. On the other hand, I'm not ready to give up looking decent (I didn't use the word "good"), and I believe being frugal an d looking good aren't mutually exclusive.

In other news, I did another run through my wardrobe and got rid of 4 pieces - skirts with prints that I used to like but now found them a bit old-looking (I noticed that always is the case with florals...) I got a bit of thermal layers (sale), a fleece jacket (sale) and a jumper (on clearance) over the weekend, taking the advantage of sales. Expensive? Not when they're on sale. Necessity? Not really since I already own a few (thermal layers and fleece). The fleece in question is SO SOFT and WARM that I just want to stay in it forever, period. Possibly wear it outside-the-home too (but I won't, for aesthetic reasons obviously). It is only after I got the new fleece that I realized my old one isn't so great in keeping me warm, but I am not ready to throw away the old ones, course not! The jumper was on clearance and while it's not strictly a 'keep-you-warm' item, I suppose the style is timeless so not really a problem, although I do have too many jumpers in the trove that it has to stop. Or "one-in-one-out" from now on.

This and That

This is going to be a mish-mash sort of post.

1) Picked up some cookies on the way home the other day, I should just stop buying snacks in 2016. That might not be difficult as it have sounded, my biggest hurdle would be special flavors (case in point: I just bought butter & maple syrup, and cheese). It'll be a good move to save me $ and waistline.

2) I had been surviving on breads and congees and a small bit of rice (nothing chewy), next to none veggies except for the odd bit of grapes and a few leaves. That said, I craved hot food (and normal food). While at the dental check up the other day, I passed by the canteen and my stomach growled. Had a hard time deciding what to get - whether I can eat/chew it and whether it's worthy of that money, at the end I spent $15 on getting steamed rice flour rolls which I easily slurped on, is warm (and most importantly it's no longer bread!). I was happy but I broke a No Spend Day...I would say the urge to have something is a cross between "want" and "need".

3) Speaking of (2), I must stop getting that much bread once my condition recovers. I'm not that much of a bread-eater, well depending on the type of bread.

4) My neighbor made awesome curry which I can smell from my vicinity(!), it ignited a crave, naturally. I must go have some curry once conditions improved. You see, I saw that dental extractions coming and had sushi the week before, so glad I did!!!

5) I have changed a new set of pillow, pillow case, duvet and duvet case last month, I had wanted something warmer but it was much more $$. At the end I got a cheap set for everything (the pillow case being the most expensive item out of all 4 - ha!) and it's always a good thing when you find yourself feeling cozy the moment you slump on your bed. I hardly have that feeling in the past, and the change has changed everything. I literally fell in love with bedtime now. 

(Lesson: always spend $ on things you use everyday, it pays!)

6) While at the pharmacy, I came across a cheerful pharmacist making announcements over the mic, the hall was so crowded with folks coming and going, queuing, waiting, you know, every age group. It makes me happy to see that someone is still keeping up the spirits even when under such a pressurized environment! They look like a nice team there too.

7) On the way home I saw students coming out from exam hall which I used to take my exams at. Oh the days and joy of being a Uni student! The time is yours and there's such a great sense of possibilities - arguably I have none at the moment. Being a Uni student will always be the best time in my life, period.

8) My raise has come through this week and it's literally pouring an ice bucket over my head. I really needed to do some serious and comprehensive calculations about 2016's savings and spending. There are a few things that I can think of off the top of my head already, including cell phone replacement and my new savings policy, need to budget for them.

(I deliberately put savings in front of the latter...)

9) Taking more stairs will be one of my goals in 2016...

Alright, gotta sign off and think some more!

December = Excess = Sick

Disclaimer: I went a little crazy during November and December and just did a huge shop yesterday - it's making me guilty, regret now due to the excess. 

I should know it's coming. Right? Right??? 

The end of the year is always the worst - different sales going on, birthday discounts, etc. Excess makes me feel sick. And I am sick of the stuff piling in my room, sick of the wrong decisions I made, sick of repeating the same route again as the years before.

Definitely some goals are in the making with regards to that, the difficult part is "how to". While it's probably easy for some people who "just don't", it's going to be a bit tricky for moi. In the past I found that too much time on my hands = more mindless purchases, fully busy = less time to shop. However just look at the past two months will tell you otherwise. Busy = stress shop. 

I start to think that clarity is the key, when my mind is clear and focused on goals, and that means really focused and determined without distractions, I generally do better. The environmental factors of course play a part, I do better on days without any credit cards around aka (limited) cash only. I also do better when I have time to connect with frugal bloggers and posts...which comes to the conclusion that while I don't really have spare time as in my previous position, and it's not a thing I have control over. I definitely can do something on my part by leaving the cards at home, go limited-cash-only on days that are planned to be no-spend. Some unsubscribing actions must be done to get rid of the distractions.  

Lastly, how do I maintain the clarity and focus? How can one make frugality on auto-pilot without the need to even think?

Woken by pain...

this morning at 9am that is. Got up at 3:30am last night and popped a painkiller, rinsed my mouth with saline water before returning to sleep. It felt like somebody is chiseling away at my jaw. Well, the dentist surely was, I heard sounds from the electric drill. Face/jaw is still swollen. 

Just had my breakfast (congee), medicine and now slowly (really slowly like you wouldn't believe) chewing on grapes, my mouth immediately felt sore the moment I opened it. Great. Mom's been helpful in suggesting that I cut them in halves to make easier entry to the mouth. The pain is still putting me off from doing anything productive, so catching up with blog posts that is!

2015 goals reviewed and looking forward

So I had the privilege of a few days' down time chillin' at home, due to a surgical dental extraction (PAIN!!) and wound stitching (TMI!). When the anesthesia is gone, it's really painful to the point that I couldn't sleep and had to take analgesics, and keeping a liquid/soft diet. Now half of my face is swollen up like a balloon. Not pretty. Plus, it hurts like somebody had punched my face, bruised and dug a hole on it, it felt very sore. The few days off could be more productive (had plans in the household area) but the pain is keeping me off from doing anything at all. Not even Internet, but hey, I remember and cherish this little corner and you lovely frugal friends on the cyber space :)

I haven't properly posted here since April, can you believe it's that time of the year already?? The past few months had been a blur, I dreaded in going to work, once I struggled to, it's like 11-12 hours per day, go home, have supper, shower, do the dishes, then off to bed. Barely any time to wind down and do my own stuff (from idling to Internet browsing, let alone blogging). If I stayed up at night (aka more 'me' time), I'd be exhausted the next day and the cycle repeats. One thing I had to be strict about is bed time, yeah like a kid. If I'm lucky that night that we're heading out for supper, which means no dishes. The work situation really is dreadful - there's no way around it and won't change anytime soon. I used to joke that the current role enables me to save more, i.e. too busy to do any mindless shopping, but being the holiday season in November to December, it isn't helping so far, lol. We shall see.

Back to the core business. Frugal living. Makes me panic the other day when I looked up and realized I had no definite ideas of what goals to achieve in 2016. More panic when I realized the latter half of 2015 was gone and I didn't do well in terms of adhering to my budget. Here's some financial milestones of 2015:

- I had taken a baby step towards investment, e.g. buying some stocks (on the advice/recs from my dad), earning dividends. I have no intention to put more money in it now since it's a volatile market and there's a possibility I will get carried away and put more/win some/lose more money;

- I just signed up a savings plan, which I consider it a safety nest to put some of my eggs into, and will start earning some guaranteed interests (similar to dividend but it's not a stock, idk how to call it) starting the 2nd year. This is a big step for me as it means I need to be financially committed (in the form of a fixed amount) every year, also a step that I've dreaded for 3-4 years. Sure I could be more aggressive in terms of the financial commitment per year as well as the guaranteed interest rates, but then I had other plans in mind that I'd like to purchase in the coming few years such as insurance, which is why I think I'm happy with the amount signed up for now;

- Who knew I could make some extra earnings from doing surveys? I did :) and I kept a figure of how much I made, it's not much but it certainly helps;

- I discontinued a monthly subscription box which brings happy little surprises, originally a monthly treat to self, I now find my room is stuffed to the brim and don't need any wondering of 'hit or miss'es;

- I did only 2 major clothes shopping this year, aside from undergarments and replacement of PJs, not sure how it will be like next year but it certainly cheered me (& wardrobe) up without breaking the bank. I didn't buy any shoes (slippers not counted) nor handbags;

- Aimless trips to supermarkets avoided.

Things I could have done better (financial or not), these will probably be 2016 goals:

- Adhere strictly to the budget, precisely spending on entertainment, cutting away mindless/impulse buys, and stop being sucked in by the word 'sale' and 'offer' and 'gifts'. Apparently this is still a MAJOR work in progress;

- Clocked in approx 130 No Spend Days this year, could definitely do more and get closer to 150;

- Side hustles fluctuated plus I'm busier in new role right now, 2-3k per month used to be attainable but no longer, I'd be ecstatic if able to make extra 1k per month;

- Saving for down payment: see financial milestones above, still a MAJOR work in progress, I'm thinking what to do with the blog progress bar;

- Explore funds and ETFs;

- Could be more diligent in cleaning and tidying my room (dust bunnies);

- Working out what are the 'essentials' in everything: from wardrobe to timetable, to routine to life;

- Traveled more;

- Be a better listener and partner;

- Keeping up with frugal blogosphere, internalize frugal living as a habit;

- Read more books/magazines, plus I'm close to not 1 but 2 libraries;

- Reevaluate my assets distribution, particularly the retirement funds (dreaded for a few years), do a shopping on bank offers;

- Exercise!! 

- Not bringing credit cards out on most days will help greatly in driving down impulse buys;

- Clear new emails every day.

My goals for next year is loosely laid out, some of the housekeeping/personal development/health and personal care goals will be similar to that of 2015 so they are likely to stay on the 2015/6 page...all in all, it's an OK year but definitely could accomplish a lot more. As far as 2016 is concerned, I'm not sure how the struggle between work and life will be, so I tend to be on the safe side not to make goals that are too radical. The older I become, the more I appreciate certainty and routines. The adventurous side will be kept for travels :) Very often I find myself hoping for a 'normal' year instead of an exciting one. Is anyone of you like that?

Now off to do the calculations of November...