I had dinner out with a few of high school friends yesterday. Two of them were teachers, one of them was in the PR field. The former two was married (1.5 years apart from each other).
One of them mused on the fact that she and her hubby paid 15k each month for rent (including furnishing, management fee, not sure about water/electricity bill though). Another paid less than 10k per month but the couple owned a big room (large enough as a standalone flat), which is part of an apartment with a kitchen (mostly used by them) and a bathroom and a common area.
Apart from concurring with them that the housing market is problematic right now (prolonged period of astronomical figures for both rent/buy), I can't help wondering about one thing. All of them earned less than I do (at least two of them are, the other I"m not sure!), their family would give them support for their down payment if they needed it, but they think the housing market is not at its best price (i.e. very high prices now) so they turned to renting. But here's the thing: why would people go ahead and get married if the circumstances aren't right? Why would anyone want to get married when the problem of housing has not been solved? I can't comment on each individual's decision (e.g. want to have baby soon, enjoy time-for-two longer, etc) but to me, I would feel safer to enter marriage when the housing issue is sorted out in the first place, i.e. the couple have enough cash towards the down payment + subsequent mortgage. I'm not saying the two couples don't earn enough cash to sustain a mortgage, but I'm pointing out that this is not the plan that I have in mind. I certainly don't want to be the person who worry about which place to buy when we are actually renting a place.
It makes more sense to me to have the down payment first, look around for a potential place to buy, then buy + get married concurrently. Getting married without a house feels bad. In fact this has been the most popular option out there? Some people buy the house first, then leave it empty, move in after they get married. Or, they moved in together first, see if each other's right for the other, then get married (and probably move to a bigger place...when they have kids). I heard there are couples who live apart in their own parent's home after getting married, just for the sake of saving enough dough for down payment / waiting for the housing price to come down. But why not get married when it's been sorted out? It's all about timing. Save your dough first, then wait for the best timing. Whether it's "the best" or "the right" timing nobody knows, but at least there's one less thing to worry about after getting married!
So my primary focus, and the major reason for me to start living on a smaller budget, has something to do with saving up enough for a down payment for future housing. The first step is always hard, but what has to be done has to be done.
During the course of our conversation, each of them expressed real passion for their jobs, or at least some sort of enjoyment and fulfillment. Well, I don't. Of course this has something to do with my job nature but I'm not a person who gets bored easily, so I have absolutely no qualms staying at a boring office job. (Boring doesn't mean it's trouble-free though, but what job doesn't come with trouble?) They all thought my job will be boring, but hey, I'd rather have a boring job than a job that puts new things, more duties on my plate everyday. Or worse, I'd rather have a boring job with decent income than having a job that earn peanuts but is something I'm passionate about. Passion + income don't blend well, at least not in the jobs that I have passion in.
The epiphany I got from last night was, we were 4 simple-minded girls a few years ago back then, while we all grew up now but we made our ways quite differently. Looking at them, earning less, knowing and doing what they like, have simple things (from clothes to cell phones to handbags), enjoying their (some newly married) life, then I look at what I have. Now I don't have designer bags or what, but my clothes, shoes, bags are definitely fancier than them. I don't know what to think here to be honest. Two of them has never been a feminine figure (dress up and look fancy), and the other likes to be pretty but likes to keep things simple. Even I make more than them, I also live a more complicated life too (mentally and materially more so). While I don't aspire to be a person who doesn't care for looks and appearance (never), I come to appreciate how they unconsciously live on less, possess less, and be happy with simple things. They take delight in a dress/shirt/bag they like, and that item isn't even expensive or the newest/latest out there! WOW. I thought silently to myself: it takes a lot for me to like something, and things that I like will easily cost more! (eek!)
I thought hard on WHY and HOW I came to where I am today, I have come up with a few possible reasons to account for that. While figuring that part out has been difficult, I'm glad to be able to reflect on something from yesterday's session, and I want to do something about it. I used to be one of them who takes delight in simple things and wishes for nothing more on the horizon (aka easily-contented teenager), and now I'm leading a way of life different from them. I want a simple, happy, minimalist but quality life that values human interactions or experience more than materialistic possessions. Can I go back on that track and be one of them now? If I can, how am I going to do it? Where should the line be drawn to let myself know I'm making progress? Take measure at the dough I saved by eliminating unnecessary purchase? Set a savings goal for my down payment?
What do you think is the most important thing or mindset to have or do when you steer a new direction of your life?
(I just thought of one: Keep it simple.)
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